Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air… - Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is nothing more bliss-inducing to me than a sweetly-scented desert breeze that feels warm and silky to my sunshine-starved skin. I have spent my day on a back porch in Tucson, reading and drinking icy drinks, enjoying myself completely. Coming to AZ always makes me feel like an amber-trapped insect; I immediately revert to the teen I was when I used to live here. Suddenly all my responsibilities melt off my shoulders and I can feel my bones loosen, letting the heat flow between them in that peculiar alchemy that always occurs when others get too hot but I remain comfortable. I read Goldengrove by Francine Prose, quite possibly the ideal book for my vacation situation today. I recommend it highly. But back to the desert. I believe my home will ALWAYS be in the desert, nestled in the dust amidst the spiky plants and bird chirps. I really like living in Northern CA, I like being able to walk everywhere I want to go from my apartment, I like the fresh and local food at the farmers' market, I like the girl I am dating who can melt me with a sidelong glance, I like my job, my bedroom, my cats, but it isn't me. Hmm, typing that, it sounds a little trite. Regardless, I truly feel at home in the desert, completely myself. Or perhaps it is Sam who does it to me. I cannot separate the desert from Sam or myself from either of them. Suffice it to say, I am reminded of who I am and completely refreshed. Exactly what one hopes to accomplish with a vacation. Though I was unsettled by my brief layover in San Diego. I realized I haven't been there since I moved away after college. I was submerged under a huge wave of nostalgia and now feel I must plan a trip there. Plus I began missing Mr Jon immensely the day before I left for this trip. I was folding origami tulips at the reference desk (no, seriously, this is part of my job) and the last time I did that was to help him create a springtime display in Vegas. This swelled into missing Jane and Zelda, our marathon Sundays of swimming until starved, then chowing on Athens fries at Paymons, then laying around on the king-sized bed that was our couch because we were too exhausted to move. Those times are relegated to the realm of memory and new things are ahead. Perhaps the coming of Spring and warmer weather will cure my melancholy.

My blog writing was put on hold while I occupied myself with the business of living. I started dating a girl who makes the whole landscape glitter when we are together so I imagine I will have to devise a suitable pseudonym for her. My work has occupied much of my time as well, performing a huge amount of community outreach and other obligations. Plus I try to sneak some time alone because, while I enjoy the company of aforementioned girl (woman, really), she is very intent on spending lots of time together and I thrive on lots of time alone. We are navigating that concern. For now, I will return to my reading in the open air to extract the last morsels of indolence from my time off.